The Death Plan
I think many of us shy away from envisioning what our death might look like. It can feel uncomfortable, even scary. But I believe that visualizing the end can be a great first step in beginning to work through our fear of death.
Before I found my calling in death care, I had only ever thought about my own death in very abstract terms. Through my training and reading, I was encouraged to do something I had never really considered: visualize it. Dig deeper. Imagine the details. Create a Death Plan.
These days, many people are familiar with the concept of a birth plan. We spend time preparing for the momentous occasion of bringing a new life into this world. We think about the environment, who will be there, what will make us feel safe and supported.
Why shouldn’t we give that same thought and care to our death?
Death is also a momentous occasion—a transition from this life into whatever comes next. It deserves our thought, our intention, our reverence.
Who would you want in the room while you labor out of this life?
What would you want the room to smell like?
What physical sensations would bring you comfort?
What images would you want to see?
What music or sounds would help you feel peaceful?
These are all things we can consider when creating a Death Plan.
We can also include wishes for what happens immediately after our death. Maybe there is a special ritual you’d like performed. Perhaps you’d like a moment of silence, a candle lit, a particular song played, or specific words that hold meaning for you spoken aloud.
Just like birth, every death experience is different. Things don’t always unfold exactly according to plan—and that’s okay.
The purpose of a Death Plan isn’t to control death. It’s to communicate our wishes and give the people around us a better understanding of what matters to us.
Having a plan can create space for everyone to be more present in the moment, rather than having to make difficult decisions while navigating grief.
So I want to gently challenge you to envision your deathbed.
Not because you need to be morbid. Not because you need to have all the answers.
Just imagine.
The faces.
The voices.
The sounds.
The smells.
The feeling of the room.
And if you’re fearful—if you’re not ready to picture your own ending—that’s okay, too.
I’m simply glad you’ve read this far.
Maybe you’re not ready to plan your death yet.
Maybe you’re just beginning to get curious about it.
Curiosity is where the conversation begins.
I’ve included links to some of my favorite items for creating a comforting and relaxing death space.
A large and comfy weighted blanket to provide a supported feeling
Or a super fluffy and soft blanket if you’re not looking for that weighted sensation
Calming lavender pillow mist
Pink Himalayan salt lamp - Even if you’re not interested in this for energy and cleansing abilities, it gives a beautiful and warm glow to the room
Lovely candle warmer lamp. I’ve used this for candles or simmer pots. I love throwing spices like cinnamon and clove in a small dish under the lamp
This post includes Amazon affiliate links
